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Jun 24, 2009

Hmmm..

Heh..sorry for the short absence..Ade attend one event kat Singapore. last week. Prepare.carik info sana sini one week.recuperate tenaga lepas bercuti budget gitu.One week. I spend the last weekend by bangun mandi makan PS2 tido PS2 tido makan.haha.

Anyway, fortunately the other day i read a news feed at the wordpress.com yang Yahoo360 akan ditutup, so aku pon terkedek-kedek menjalankan urusan import export and hasilnya..semua hasil tulisan entry2 aku ade kat wordpress. Termasuk jugak yang dari blog ni. Redirect code sumer dah siap..cum aku mcm nak kemas2 dulu 'rumah' baru tuh..nak letak itu dan ini. Ralat jugak macam tak boleh letak feedjit kat wordpress..apesal ek? ke ade care aku je yang tak tau..kene belajar nih..

Nanti biler aku raser macam dah boleh terma tetamu ke rumah baru tuh, you guys will know..

Jun 10, 2009

Tentang itu

Someone commented that she felt like the lowest sinner and so small after reading my post yesterday. I was greatly saddened by that. It was not my intention to make her or anybody felt that way.

Oh Marlina sungguh bagus sekarang..layak ke nak kawan dengan dier?

Please please don't...its not my place to preach and i am not preaching, i write my story..i hope Uya' found it and know that I am sorry for all the silence....and I'm writing this for me too..

So biler nanti malas2 solat lambat2..this writing can remind me..

"Ape da..smlm baru tulis macam siket punyer bagus..takkan nak tangguh Isyak sebab Yakuza kot?"

Aku masih aku..

Aku maseh dgr lagu-lagu..maseh nyanyi kuat2 dgn radio..maseh maki2 kalo kene tumbuk tak sempat nak elak masa main Yakuza..masih jugak solat lambat2..maseh jugak boleh datang lambat keje..

Perjalanan kearah satu kebaikan is..perjalanan..bukan destinasi..and perjalanan dalam erti kata sedikit demi sedikit..perjuangan bukan macam magic..pling!!! marlina dah jadik baik....bila dah sedar terus ikut tabligh?..sikit2 la kan..

Jalan ke lari ke merangkak berguling..byk cara ke arah itu..

Rakan-rakan..aku maseh aku..bukan aku bangga aku maseh aku..tak berubah..its just my love for you, all of you maseh kekal sama..cuma kalo aku betul2 berubah..aku mungkin berubah jadik lebeh baik..so orang yg baik2 tak sombong berlagak mulia kan..kan..ahahaha..

Jun 9, 2009

Tentang Uya'

Uya' adalah antara wanita yang aku hormati dan pandang tinggi, jarang2 dalam aku berguru tentang Tuhan aku jumpa orang betul2 layak aku tempatkan sebegitu. Sungguh aku bersyukur aku jumpa seorang manusia dan guru yang melihat soalan-soalanku yang kadang-kadang mencabar akal dan peribadi, hanyalah soalan atas rasa ingin tahu, soalan atas rasa ingin kepastian, soalan atas rasa keperluan untuk satu penjelasan. We had our differences in opinion but it doesn't stop us for understanding each other.

Kalau Uya' tanya lembut, dengan senyuman,

"Marlina, minggu ini solatnya gimana? Tadarusnya?"

Aku balas dengan senyum malu. heh...Pandangan Uya' yang memahami tuh buatkan aku rasa macam nak lari jauh-jauh..haha..Kadang-kadang aku rasa Uya' memang tahu apa yang ada di dalam hatiku sejak mula. Apa yang aku simpan jauh-jauh, yang aku lindung, yang aku diamkan.

Puteri kecilnya Nailah, adalah antara penawar hati waktu itu. Satu kenyamanan yang hanya boleh diberikan oleh anak-anak kecil. Senyum malunya, gelak girangnya.

Tapi aku tinggalkan Uya' dari hatiku dari lebeh dahulu dari aku tinggalkan bumi Australia. Aku tinggalkan Uya' tanpa sepatah kata dalam marahku.

Aku pernah bertanya Uya'

"Uya', saya ada baca buku tentang personaliti orang..ada orang yang memang jenis yang diam, bersabar dan baik-baik aja. Mana adil saya bising, garang dan juga pemarah. Salah satu sifat orang yang masuk syurga adalah orang yang sabar.So mana aci saya susah masuk syurga?"

Uya' senyum dengan soalan tu

"Hish,kamu ini Marlina. Umar juga garang dan ada manfaatnya. Ya setiap orang, lain-lain perangainya. Sabar itu pun ada tahap-tahapnya. Sudah tentu lain sabar kamu yang kata kamu permarah, dengan orang lain contohnya yang memang jenis low key gitu. Serah pada Allah sahaja tentukan."

Aku jugak pernah tanya

"Kenapa saya, kenapa saya yang dipilih untuk ini. Saya marah..sangat marah..sampai bila?

Jawapan Uya' waktu itu

"Orang bilang ginilah..Too bad Allah mau duga kamu begini. In the end, pulang juga kepangkuanNya. Tiada tempat boleh lari. Alam ini milikNya. Kemana aja mau lari Marlina." katanya dalam sedikit ketawa.

Al-Baqarah Ayat 216
[2.216] Kamu diwajibkan berperang (untuk menentang pencerobohan) sedang peperangan itu ialah perkara yang kamu benci; dan boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. Dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah Yang mengetahui (semuanya itu), sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya.


216. Fighting is made obligatory for you (to fight against aggression) even though you dislike it. But you may hate a thing which is good for you, and love a thing which is bad for you. And (remember) that Allah Alone knows (all these things) but you do not know.

Waktu tuh..memang aku meletup marah..aku diam dan pandang Uya'. Pandang tak puas hati. Uya' senyum. Kemudian dengan wajah biasa tapi denagn pandangan menusuknya,dia sambung lagi.

"Sabar aja lah Marlina. Sabarrr. Pasti ketemu juga jalannya nanti."

Waktu tuh aku memang marah..

Sabar..sabar..sampai biler..sabar..x sabar dah nih..

Surah Al-Hajj Ayat 15
[22.15] Sesiapa yang menyangka bahawa Allah tidak sekali-kali akan menolong (Nabi Muhammad) dalam dunia ini dan di akhirat kelak, maka hendaklah ia menghulurkan tali (serta mengikatnya) di bumbong rumahnya, kemudian hendaklah ia menjerut lehernya (supaya ia mati tercekek); dalam pada itu hendaklah ia memikirkan lebih dahulu, adakah tipu dayanya itu dapat menghapuskan sebab-sebab yang menimbulkan kemarahannya?

[Ayat : 15]
15. If anyone thinks that Allah will not give victory (to Prophet Muhammad) in this world and in the world to come, let him take a rope (and tie it) to the ceiling of his house and cut himself off (and thus die of strangulation). However, let him see before that whether this scheme of his will indeed do away with the cause of his rage?

Seingat aku topik tak bersambung waktu itu..

Tapi aku dan Uya' memang selalu berbicara di YM. Satu hari, kali terakhir aku berbicara dengannya..

Waktu itu aku suarakan lagi padanya kesakitan dan keperitan aku..Aku kata aku amat marah..

Uya' sebut ini..

"Ah, kamu terlalu gopoh Marlina. Sabar."

......end of conversation....

Aku memang marah dengan Uya' marah kerana jauh dari sudut hati aku apa yang Uya' cakap tu betul.

Banyak bende yang aku belajar dengan Uya'

Uya' jugalah yang menjawab

"Usaha juga dilihat Allah, bahkan lebih lagi. End result tidak perlu fikir. Usaha sahaja, usah fikir banyak. Continue to fight aja."

atas soalan aku yang bunyinya..

"Uya', saya tak yakin saya menang, saya tak nampak lagi Uya'. Andai saya tewas? Penat sahajalah saya berusaha melawan selama ini."

Tapi sungguh, aku rindu senyumnya, aku rindu bicaranya.

Al-Zalzalah Ayat 7 & 8
[99.7] Maka sesiapa berbuat kebajikan seberat zarah, nescaya akan dilihatnya (dalam surat amalnya)!

[99.8] Dan sesiapa berbuat kejahatan seberat zarah, nescaya akan dilihatnya (dalam surat amalnya)!


7. Whosoever does an atom?s weight of good shall see it (written in his record)
8. And whosoever does an atom?s weight of evil shall see it (written in his record)

Jun 8, 2009

Thank you Tasniim..


She posts 2 poems from Rumi in her blog..i am somehow deeply touched by it..for the first time in like a thousand years, i open the terjemahan again..Thank you, Tasniim.

"Even though in anger you depart a hundred thousand years from me, in the end you will come to me, for I am your goal."

I guess i have exhausted all the cuti i applied..So back to fighting la kot..I've returned what's been borrowed (though unwillingly hehe)..but i will pujuk hati ikhlaskan niat..

'Fighting is prescribed', eh?

Then fighting it is..

Jun 5, 2009

Kene belasah teruk..

Akhirnya telah berjaya mengalahkan Itachi dlm pertarungan sengit semalam yang menyaksikan Naruto (played by me) menyarap kluar kicap berbelas-belas kali setelah kene goreng oleh Tsukoyomi, Ametaresu and simple Katon Gokakyu No Jutsu..dgn handphone kat sebelah menjerit-jerit Jai-Ho3..(Kak Hani kaco..kol2 time genting..dah kene marah da..)..

Pastu kalahkan Jiraiya..senang ajo..eheh3..tapi..sampai saket ibu2 jariku tapi still kene tarok cukup2 oleh Second Hokage..mmg vavi..kul 10 lebeh dah retired smlm...vavi3

mlm ni nk sambung lagi...

Oh ye..akhirnya telah berjaya buang The Ring kat Mount Doom..the last time main..maki sunguh2 sbb tak lepas2 kat part last sekali..tapi kali nih dgn 2 percubaan je..

Need for speed Carbon dulu ke..need for speed undercover..undercover mcm tak best jer..

Jumpa a good copy of Yakuza..nak tahu jalan cerita nih..DVD yang lama losak..haiya..abes kalahkan Second Hokage baru main Yakuza...

hehehe...

Game ape lagi best?

Jun 2, 2009

Aqil

Jumpa balek si kecik nih setealh beberapa minggu tak jumpa..

Buat tak kenal..tak reti..ngengada tanak duduk dan makan mcm budak baik...pastu i mara dier sket..pastuh majuk..amek gambar tanak senyum...



Setelah beberapa lama..dier dtg dekat2..buat muka nih..
maybe nak kata.."titi,mara aqil lagi?"

pastu aku tergelak...alolololo..comeyyynyer...

pastu baru le nak lari2 senyum2...sengih2...

Photography

" I will be as good as *insert some famous photographer* if i have the equipment(SLR camera+ good lense) just like he did"


Thats a big IF..very very big IF..

There's alot more to photography than owning an SLR...

May 29, 2009

Akhirnya Abang Darius tumpas..

hahaha..pehal bang..muke bengkek je biler dah kalah ehh..ahahahaha..ahahahaha..i restart the Boss Race countless of times..i even..swear loudly..chuck aside the controller..go drink some water..ok..alot of water(you know when you're really frustrated and mad..you just gulp the whole bottle ;P)..change to play Onimusha instead then change to Winning Eleven..then finally.. I win..I win..my mouth left hanging when i cross the finish line with few thousands point to spare...hahahahahha...ahahhahahaha...it was so sweet..hehehe..

For those who has no idea of what i'm talking about..i appologized..i'm so in the mood to gloat...hehehehe..anyway..i was playing this Need For Speed Carbon on my PS2..(kasihankan..org lain dah ade PS3..i maseh PS2)..now that i have defeated the last boss...i can revert back playing LOTR The return of the Kings..I've been swicthing between those two..but dunno how, since i get my hands on Subaru Impreza dgn Body Kit 3...turn it yellow, and upgrade all to race package..memang mantapp..i forget about Frodo whose been nearly eaten by Sheelob..cian dier..hang in there litlle fella..i'll be there this weekend..

I've just realised it yesterday that i havent upgrade the transmission and brake..so that's why..amek conner cam hampehhh..after upgrading, barulah boleh cucuk2 Audi si Darius ah..all those frustrations for nothing..so thats the key to sucess..that i finally beat Darius..

Test drive the Maclaren Merc..tapi tak begitu agile like Abang Subaru,bunyi pon tak best..hahaha..Abang Subaru sound so bagak..then after winning the race..unlock Audi..test drive..no no no..nothing beat my tier 3 tuner..Abang Subaru...hahaha..cam nak bg nama kat dier..but then Abang Subaru sound not so bad..hehe..i want to treat me to something la..celebrate the winning..hehehehe..maybe beli Carrera

May 27, 2009

Kek Lok Si



A few years ago,if my father knew that i visited a temple, he would look at me in full of disapproval but now, i think he will just say,

"Apa kejadahnya pi masuk tokong cina tuh?" Still uncomfortable about it but not disproving anymore.

He's worried if i went into the temple, i will be inclined to be buddhist next.

Our household practice what we call free speech system. haha.

When my father said that playing chess with the king had that cross on his head will 'memesongkan akidah', i ask him.

"kenapa plak?"

"tu salib atas kepala raja tuh. lama-lama tengok nnt terpengaruh."

"apelah ayah ni..manade bende nih memesongkan akidah..kalo ye..abes la aku..hari2 nampak tanda salib tuh masa belajar kat sana..abes la aku..akidah aku dah terpesong..abes la..ahahahaha"

"sukati kau la. ayah memang malas nak ckp ngn anak2 ayah yg pandai2 nih..ayah sekolah sampai derjah 6 je"

"manade pesong akidah la ayah. ayah ingat salib tuh ade magik ke? boleh 'tarik2' orang?..ye la..ye la.. kalo tak puas ati gak..karang aku potong la yg atas tuh..puas ati?"

Eventhough i know he's just didnt like having that cross in his house, but yeah..we debate about everything.hehehe.

But his favourite debating topic was that..

"Kalo ayah kawen lagi, korang kasik tak?"

When i was a child i will passionately outline all those things that go againts it. But as i grew older, i didn't bother to answer. I will menguap and says..

"Oh, topik yg sungguh bosan..tade idea lain ke ayah?"

My mum on one hands reminds me of her whenever i'm using a chopstick or watching chineese drama because she will say this whenever i do those two of my favorites thing during my childhood.

"Suke sangat dgn Cina. Nnt dah besar ko kawen Cina tau tak?"

Hahahaha...

That story aside.

Last saturday, Kak hani and Linda bring me to one of popular tourist spot inPenang. The Kek Lok Si Temple aka Temple of Supreme Bliss.

We hike up the hill,

one two..one two..come on you can do it

Along the way, there were shops selling T-shirts and souveniers. Who in their right mind, shop while going up and bring all those stuff with them up on all of those steps? Shop keepers there, should revise their strategy i think.

On the narrow and steep stairs, there they are on the side..like a petugas sukan handing up drinks only that they don't handing up drinks, but only to promote..T-Shirt..yeah..T-Shirt..kot la jual air tebu sejuk ke..minuman isotonik ke

"T- Shirt kak? murah2 sajer.Mai la.Mai la" Very2 annoying.

On normal ocasssion, i will pass on getting up the hill on foot. But this is the biggest temple in south east Asia katanya..got this big buddha statute somemore..Pagoda lagi..
Bertahan...bertahan..just a little bit more..

But the first site, where there's a pond and lots of turtle in it..very yucky...unkept,dirty and overpopulated with turtles..read somewhere about the cleansing ritual of releasing the trutle to freedom/nature, so as to purify soul..

i'm quite confuse..

should we take one of the tutles there and release it to the wild somewhere outside..

or

should we bring turtles and put it there so that it can enjoy living the fredom there..


But if its the second one..thats not nature/freedom..thats tourture..quite let down by the sight of this pond.

Finally arrive at the foot of more temple building on the hill.Panting. Sweating like mad.

"What? Ni ke..mcm tak berjaga jer?"

Moldy tiles. Peeling paint. Grimy glass. Crudely-made small buddhas.

At this, I felt that i wasn't worth the climb at all. huhu. Dissapointed.

Lost the desire to climb up more stairs for the Pagoda..



Kak Hani says that as long as she can remeber, the main prayer hall was there at the level we are and not at the higher level it is now. I'm not sure about that since i've never been there.

"Betul ke? silap kot? caner derang bawak naik pagoda nih kat atas tuh?"

One 'undi tak percaya' from me.

"Ye..kami ingat.."I saw her began doubting her memory.

haha..but then i went to this site...i pun confuse..haha..look like on the same level..

At this she loss her mood to pose. But the i had my secret weapon lah kan..which make her smile like this..

sama tak mcm nih..hehehehe..gurau je..gurau je..jgn le mare...




The funny part of the whole thing is that there's parking lot up there at our level. If only we knew of it. Then on the site mention above, there's this Kwan Yin statute also up the hill..huhuhu..Oh My...I also learn that the best time to go up there is during the month up to Chineese New Year. There'll be lanterns,decoration and such. Sure sound exciting enough to warrant a second visit.

After I finished snapping here and there,resting up for a bit, we decide to go down. Kak Hani continues to muttered appologetically about her not knowing about the fact that we can go up by car.

"Kot la hampa nih Cina buddhist. xpe2..wlpun penat sket..kami dah rasa kurus sket dah..anyway, prekstis untuk amazing race asia.."


p/s: Secret weapon is me singing a few lines from Gadis Melayu..Siapa bilang gadis melayu tak menawan..tak menarik hati..tiada memikat..ahaiii

Now that i had scrutinies the pics from the site, I guess we went to a different bulding than the building in the pics near the pagoda, coz it has the swastika on the roof . We definitely had to climb further to get the view as those pics on the site. Those building look almost the same, so,easily confused.

Great pics here.Just found it.

May 25, 2009

Lunch at Hamidiyah, Dinner at Kapitan.


Bab makan2 diluar..memang serah kepada pakar kita yg sorang nih..Kak Hani akhirnya berkesempatan bwk aku pegi mkn kat Hamidiyah..kedai nasik beriyani yg kononnyer terbaik di Penang..

Kitorang makan nasik beriyani ayam. dan kuah gulai( aka kari ) ayam and daging masak hitam/ke daging rempah..i tonno..
Haritu mkn 'cok udang di mana ntah..nama tempat specific tidak diberi..hanya

"Tempat yg dekat dgn juai murah"

juai murah pula adelah tempat dimana byk peniaga kain dan cenderahati..but i do remember coming to the Penang Road while we're looking for parking..

lately aku suka minum teh ais...haha..dulu kalo org offer sumpah taknak..i don't like teh susu or teh tarik very much..tapi aritu after having a sip of it, encourage by Kak Hani..i mcm dah ketagih la plak..haha..mcm script gedik Ah Long Pvt Ltd

"belum cuba belum tau..sekali cuba hari hari mau.." ngehngehngeh..

Malam plak makan kat Kapitan..My first time there was during the Ramadhan..which was not a very enjoyable experienced..it was packed, noisy, hot, sweaty and all that..haha..kali nih dtg agak kurang org sket..so ok la..tapi mcm nak kene nasik gak..mintak le nasik goreng special..tak special pon..setakat letak ayam goreng yg dipotong2 halus and fish ball and fish cake..huhu..telur mata pon tade..apekah..

so verdict untuk dua-dua tempat mkn nih..

"baik kami pi Juru makan Tok masak..huhu..nak 'cok udang kuah kacang, pekena teh o suam2..takpun tok masak ayam masak hitam ka,gulai bawal ka..humangaih...lagi terbaekk..."

May 22, 2009

Request

Ade org jeles..nak letak lagu jugak katanya..layannnn

siti